In the past I have posted a booklist on the topic of bullying, reviewed The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander by Barbara Coloroso, and shared my thoughts on how books can help to open up dialogue on this sensitive topic.
This year, with No Name Calling Week coming quickly (January 21-25), I am thinking yet more deeply about why the issue of bullying is something I take so seriously as an educator, a parent, and as a human being. Some life lessons came hard and fast over the past couple months and I think I’m still reeling. Between the experiences I’ve had and the reading I’ve done, cyberbullying, slut shaming and the limits of free speech are all on my mind.
Particularly when verbal bullying is involved—as I have learned firsthand—too many people, including teachers, school administrators and parents, are uncomfortable with the word “bullying.” They are reluctant to identify problematic behaviors for what they are, downplaying the victims’ feelings, giving the perpetrators the benefit of the doubt and assuming that the victims are crying “wolf.” In a culture in which people are so quick to defend their right to free speech, what happens to the rights of others to be free from verbal violence?
Last fall, I read I Swear, the debut novel from writer/actor Lane Davis. Narrated alternately by four friends, the novel explores the fallout of a bullycide tragedy: Leslie Gatlin, after enduring years of relentless bullying and systematic humiliation, kills herself in her parents’ garage. Jake, perhaps Leslie’s only friend, is the last person to see her alive. Jillian, Jake’s twin sister, is best friends with Macie Merrick, the mastermind behind the schemes, pranks, and cyberbullying that targeted Leslie. Katherine and Beth, Leslie’s classmates, each played her own part as well. With Leslie’s parents pursuing a wrongful death suit, everyone is forced to confront an uncomfortable reality: even if the truth comes to light, will it bring justice?
While all the expected characters round out the cast—the queen bee and her sidekicks, the wannabes, the love interest, and the bystander-turned-heroine—Davis does a remarkable job developing the standard players and in the right hands this fascinating novel could become a powerful screenplay. As the events unfold, the narrators reflect on their reasons for going along with Macie’s cruelty to Leslie—what is it about Macie that compels both girls and guys to crave her approval? How can any teenager be expected to find his or her own voice when so many others—peers’ and adults’—are quick to speak for them?
Unfortunately, some of the Macie Merricks we knew in high school are now adults who continue their vicious, brutal behavior in the workplace or other communities, always managing to come out on top because they’ve crushed the people in their way. Recognizing this, Davis ends the story with all the complexity and ambiguity that suicide demands—and the novel is all the more successful for it.
As a teacher and parent, I swear, I will be vigilant in raising awareness of the realities of bullying. To this end I’ve decided to study—concurrently with my library science work—character development. I hope to integrate my background in morality and social justice and my extensive reading of young adult literature with strategies for teaching character and values. I am excited to see what comes of it all. My official New Year’s resolution is inspired by One, presented here by author Kathryn Otoshi: I am only one educator, but one student, one classroom, one school at a time, I will help build communities that foster compassion and respect.
Upcoming: a few more recommended titles on bullying.
4 Flags for I Swear